From: Lines Al [I think not the original author? ed.] Subject:
Software vs architecture Date: 24 February 1997 4:12pm

You've probably heard the saying, "If carpenters built buildings
the way programmers write programs, the first woodpecker that
came along would destroy civilization."

Well, just imagine what the construction industry would be like

IF ARCHITECTS HAD TO WORK LIKE PROGRAMMERS ...


Dear Mr. Architect:

Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I
need, so you should use your discretion.

My house should have between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just
make sure the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily
added or deleted. When you bring the blueprints to me, I will
make the final decision of what I want. Also, bring me the cost
breakdowns for each configuration so I can arbitrarily pick one
at a later time.

Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less
that the one I am currently living in. Make sure that you correct
all the deficiencies that exist in my current house (the floor of
my kitchen vibrates when I walk across it, and the walls don't
have nearly enough insulation in them).

As you design, keep in mind that I want to keep yearly
maintenance costs as low as possible. This should mean the
incorporation of extra-cost features like aluminum, vinyl, or
composite siding. (If you choose not to specify aluminum, be
prepared to explain your decision in detail.)

Please take care that modern design practices and the latest
materials are used in construction of the house, as I want it to
be a showplace for the most up-to-date ideas and methods. Be
alerted, however, that the kitchen should be designed to
accommodate my 1952 Gibson refrigerator.

To assure that you are building the correct house for our entire
family, you will need to contact each of my children, and also
our in-laws. My mother-in-law will have very strong feelings
about how the house should be designed, since she visits us at
least once a year. Make sure that you weigh all of these options
carefully and have come to the right decision. I retain the right
to overrule any decisions that you make.

Please don't bother me with small details right now. Your job is
to develop the overall plans for the house and get the big
picture. At this time it is not appropriate to be choosing the
color of the carpeting, but keep in mind that my wife likes blue.

Do not worry at this time about acquiring the resources to build
the house itself. Your first priority is to develop detailed
plans and specifications. Once I approve these plans, I would
expect the house to be under roof within 48 hours.

While you are designing this house specifically for me, keep in
mind that sooner or later I will have to sell it to someone else.
It therefore should have appeal to a wide variety of potential
buyers. Please make sure that before you finalize the plans there
is a consensus of the potential home buyers in my area that they
like the features this house has.

I advise you to run up and look at the house my neighbor built
last year, as we like it a great deal. It has many things that we
feel we also need in our new home, particularly the 75-foot
swimming pool. With careful engineering, I believe that you can
design this into our new house without impacting the construction
cost.

Please prepare a complete set of blueprints. It is not necessary
at this time to do the real design, since they will be used only
for construction bids. Be advised that you will be held
accountable for any increase of construction costs as a result of
later design changes.

You must be thrilled to be working on such an interesting project
as this! To be able to use the latest techniques and materials
and to be given such freedom in your designs is something that
can't happen very often.Contact me as soon as possible with your
ideas and completed plans.

P.S. My wife just told me that she disagrees with many of the
instructions I have given you in this letter. As architect, it is
your responsibility to resolve these differences. I have tried in
the past and have been unable to accomplish this. If you can't
handle this responsibility, I will have to find another
architect.

P.P.S. Perhaps what I need is not a house at all, but a travel
trailer. Please advise me as soon as possible if this is the
case.